Mountain Man
Dear Diary, Every weekday morning, I get a text message that reads: I’m going up the mountain. If you don’t hear from me by 6, text me. If you don’t hear from me by 6:30, call me. If you don’t hear from me by 7:30, call the research center. If you don’t hear from me […]
Adulting
Dear Diary, I was at the pool a few days ago, all by myself, floating on a noodle and snoozing in the sun. My book was on a towel at the edge of the water, my water bottle sat beside it. It was 95 degrees, and even though the water was warm, it was the […]
Comfort Food
Dear Diary, Carrie was always known as the cook of the family. She loved being in the kitchen, experimenting with new recipes and flavors. I loved being in the kitchen, too, but that’s because I adored eating the food. Carrie was the cook, and I was her willing, taste-testing guinea pig. Before she died, I […]
Gratitude
Dear Diary, I’ve been thinking about my big sister a lot lately. About her waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. About how she couldn’t find her way back to her bed because there was a tumor compromising her brain. About how that fucking tumor would take her away […]
A Pain Story
Dear Diary, My sweet mom lived with chronic pain. She was diagnosed with MS in her 50s and with neuropathy shortly thereafter. She wasn’t easily sidelined, my fierce and fabulous mother, but there were days she just couldn’t get out of bed. “My bad days,” she called them. “If you’re going to be in pain, […]
Happy Pride 2023!
Dear Diary, I used to think that I didn’t have queer representation growing up. But when I really sift through my memories, I realize I did, in fact, have queer representation. Proud Sissy. There was David, my mom’s hairdresser. Handsome and flamboyant and charming, I was obsessed with him. I accompanied my mom to all […]
Just Say No to Hate
Sissy… about to pick a fight with that sketchy dog in the mirror. I say it to Sissy all the time: “You don’t have to go to every fight you’re invited to.” She’s a reactive dog. If another dog so much as gives her the side eye, she’s hackles up, ready to dig in, unafraid […]
A Mother Without a Mother
Dear Diary, Today is Mother’s Day. People ask me how I’m feeling about it, how I’m doing in the wake of losing my Mom and my sister in the past couple of years. The answer is I don’t really know. Mostly, I feel kind of numb. And a little lonely. I was picking up prescriptions […]
The Ways in Which We Care
Dear Diary, Jan was my sister’s best friend for 25 years. For most of that time, I was in different cities, different states, raising four kids, working, and trying my best to keep my head above water. Carrie and I weren’t necessarily close then. We were both in different phases of life with different beliefs […]
More Love, Less Hate
Dear Diary, The first transgender woman I knew personally worked with me in 1994. I was fresh out of college, writing copy for a student loan guarantor, excited to finally be out and employed in the real world. I was young. I was green. I was untraveled. I was unworldly. I first met this woman […]