Royalty

This Royal Wedding business has me all verklempt. I will argue that there was no bigger fan of Princess Diana than Yours Truly. I wasn’t just a fan, I was probably more of a stalker. But I was just a kid, so that’s a bit less creepy than, say, your 30-Something-Still-Lives-With-His-Mother-and-Named-His-Cat-Twinkles kind of stalker.

I had every book written about Princess Di, I clipped every picture in every magazine and newspaper, I made scrapbook after scrapbook after scrapbook of her, her not-so-attractive Prince, and her adorable children. (I was a scrapbooker before scrapbooking was cool.)

She completed me.

When she died so tragically, I was devastated. My obsession had waned a bit by then, but still. I sat transfixed by the news coverage — tears flowing freely. She was so young and beautiful, the first Princess I ever fell head over heels for.

When her eldest tied the knot with his lovely bride yesterday, I was a bit emotional. (Shocking for me, I know. It’s completely out of character for me to be irrationally emotional about something.) I remembered watching all the coverage of the young Prince’s birth and his childhood. I kept thinking about how proud Diana would have been, what a beautiful mother-of-the-groom she would have made. (I know I’m talking about her like we were good friends. In my mind, we were. Go ahead and judge me. If we’d ever met, we would have been good friends — kind of like me and my BFF-To-Be, Brandi Carlile.)

When the newest newlyweds kissed on the balcony, I most definitely shed a tear. Young love does that to me. Love does that to me in general. It’s just so… lovely to be in love. And that Kate — what a smile.

I’ve most assuredly gotten into the whole “What’s Your Royal Name” Facebook game, too. My favorite one is when you create your moniker using one of your grandparents’ names followed by your first pet’s name followed by the street you grew up on.

That makes me Lady Augusta Hinky of Harding.

Kind of makes me sound like a Royal Stripper, doesn’t it?

And my prince is Lord Hale Zebedee of East. He should probably be donning a wife-beater and drinking a Schlitz with a name like that.

I do believe we’re a match made in Royal Heaven. You can find us at the second double-wide on the right.

I’ll be the one with the tattoo and the tiara.

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